Up til this point i guess i have come across nothing but a positive ball of sunshine about ADHD or just parenting in general. To some i have probably made it sound like this gig is a walk in the park.
No matter what kind of day we have whether good or bad, i always remain thankful that ADHD is in our lives.
But there are definitely bad days….. and they seem to come from nowhere sometimes. Today was one of those days…..
But today our struggles weren’t with my 6 year old….. they were with my 4 year old….
See what i haven’t shared with you is that for the past 6 to 12 months i have had a strong feeling that my darling 4 year old Kaiden has also been gifted with ADHD. And as time goes on the feeling grows stronger as well as an over powering feeling that like a lot of cases, it has come with an unkind friend. This friend i believe is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).
Now i have seen someone about my suspicions, but after 2 seconds of watching him they said “he seems like every other kid” and brushed it off. Apparently thats what a sufficient assessment entails to determine whether or not there is something going on. Dont worry im going for a second opinion.
Anyway for the last couple of days my energy has been low, not sure why but it is what it is. This probably hasn’t helped much in the way of my tolerance.
So today i picked up my 4 year old from kindy and it was all good. He was happy to see me, told me he loved me missed me and gave a big hug. A minute or two into the car drive to pick his brother from school…. the screaming monster emerged out of nowhere demanding things, kicking the back of my seat in protest for not getting his way, just yelling and demanding…. did i mention it was raining like crazy and windy as hell!!! All of this while trying to drive safely. It didnt end even when we pulled up at the school and down at the class room waiting just one big massive drawn out tantrum. If he wasnt crying and refusing to do what i asked with nasty back chat…. he was running around blatantly ignoring the fact i had even said a word to him…. He even went to the extent of hitting me multiple times…. to the outsider it must have looked like a parent who had no control and kid pulling the reigns. And this behavior has not stop even after getting home.
On the drive home i cried… i cried because the stress was too much, cried because he was obviously having trouble regulating his emotions and i felt bad that i couldn’t find a way to help him. I cried because up until nearly 12 months ago he was a completely different child. I cried because i questioned my abilities of coping and helping my boys.
See unlike Levi, kaiden was a very relaxed baby very easy going and just happy. There were no real in your face early markers like there we had with Levi.
I have tried to apply what i have learnt about parenting Levi to parenting Kaiden. But just like parenting your “average” child its not a one stratagy fits all scenario. If it turns out that I am right about Kaiden (I could be completely wrong) I will need to seek help on what strategies and methods will work with Kaiden.
So yes today was a hard day, full of emotion and even doubt. But despite all of that i still believe Levi’s ADHD is a gift….. and if my suspicions are right about Kaiden and he has it to…. i still believe that its a gift…. there will be hurdles and struggles but like they say…. the best things in life dont come easy!!!
I have learnt so much from Levi on our ADHD journey…… and i have leanrt a lot from Kaiden to. But as we prepare to look down the ADHD road for Kaiden, i can’t help but wonder what more he has to so show an teach me. I have a feeling there will be some amazing growth in the future.